Divorce financially impacts men and women differently post-divorce.
One statistic I read indicated that more than half of single female headed households live below the poverty line and experience a dramatic drop in standard of living after divorce whereas men experience a small decline or a rise in standard of living.
Surprising?
On March 6, 2012, I spoke before the Brooklyn Bar Association to an audience of attorneys and discussed this disparity, about the typical long, drawn out matrimonial cases they are handling which often take years to settle or resolve at huge expense to the clients, and suggested how they might be resolved more quickly and considering the financial impact upon their clients – the couples going through divorce.
The title of the evening’s program was “Asset Management and Divorce Practices and Solutions”. The panel consisted of three speakers, a financial advisor who spoke about financials options and solutions, a matrimonial attorney who spoke about attorney ethical dilemmas in divorce matters and myself.
I spoke about the applicable New York statutes, case law, and case studies. It is interesting to note that the New York State legislature believes that it is important to “achieve equitable outcomes when families divorce and it is important to ensure that the economic consequences of a divorce are fairly shared by divorcing couples.” (Domestic Relations Law §236 6-a) New York State statutes provide for the “equitable distribution” of marital assets, has provisions for spousal maintenance, where appropriate, and child support, where applicable.
I believe it is important to take into account the totality of the circumstances. What are the assets that have been accumulated? Are they in the form of liquid assets, pension plans that cannot be tapped now due to the age of the couple without steep penalties, tied up in property? What is truly a fair distribution of these assets? Did she put her career on hold to stay home with the children? What is a realistic salary that she can command now upon re-entry into the workforce? When she goes back to work, how much will it cost for day care or after school care for the children and how will that expense be covered?
These and other tough questions are what couples typically have to contend with during their divorce. When couples lawyer up and go directly to court, they often find themselves looking to their attorney for advice, advocacy and, simply, help to get out of this unsettling situation they find themselves in. So, often, couples find themselves fighting over who gets more, who gets the house, how will visitation with the children be worked out. Often decisions are made from a place of fear or lack of information or lawyers telling their clients what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear.
It is important in a divorce situation that both spouses fully understand and appreciate all of the factors and the totality of the circumstances and reality. As reality sets in, so too, does the solution.
This blog post is one in a series of three. In my next blog post, I will share with you more about the statistical data that I shared during my presentation.
In the meantime, feel free to post comments, share experiences, or make suggestions for future topics in the comment section below.
